Penitence and Confession: No More Driving?

Today was Ash Wednesday, a day when the Church around the world gathers to consider its relationship to God, to offer repentance and confession, and to vow changes for the Lenten season.

This evening our church bulletin described this Lenten season, beginning today, as a time "particularly appropriate" for new beginnings in faith, and for returning to the Lord. We sang together the simple prayer, create in me a clean heart, O God, and read in the Scriptures about lives lived in true worship. As we were symbolically marked with ashes, we were asked to believe the Gospel, to be cleansed as we remembered our baptisms, and to remember that we are from dust, and to dust we shall return. It was a beautiful juxtaposition of our humanity and Christ's divinity. The ash cross on my forehead was a powerful reminder of the salvation offered to me in one act on the cross, and in every day of my life.

I left for church having not given a whole lot of thought to giving something up for Lent (I don't usually), or even considering what I might change for the next 40 days. I believe that Lent is not a time of deprivation for sacrifice's sake, but a time of considering what needs changing in my life to make room for God and the sacrifice God's work asks of me.

In a conversation with a good friend, musing about what this sort of deprivation/life-change/new habit might look like, it occurred to me that one way I succumb to a life of excessive luxury is very simple and often looked at as a necessity: my car. Yes, I own one in the city; yes, it can be very helpful, and occasionally necessary. But, equally YES: I drive way more than is necessary, in a city already full of cars and expensive gasoline. I have chosen this luxury of independence, last-minute decision making, and (sometimes) general laziness over the very sensible, and often more-affordable, plethora of public transportation methods available within a very short distance from my home. And so, beginning with the season of Lent, I will strive to make this luxury a thing of the past, to be more conscious of where and how I drive. I am giving up driving in the city limits for the next 40 days; public transportation for me it will be. I say this knowing there are instances where I will be in a car (such as tomorrow night when I am coming home with my roommate from a taping of Wait, Wait...Don't Tell Me! downtown, and she will have her car as she is on her way home from a hospital in Joliet); I also do not see a way around driving my car this weekend when I will leave Chicago entirely to go visit my family in the central part of the state.

It bothers me a bit to have to caveat my Lenten resolution for change, but I think the heart of the decision is sound: I don't ever need to drive to my job, I rarely go anywhere that is not within walking distance or easily accessible by a nearby bus or El line. Instead of choosing, in these instances, to be lazy and convenient, to cut myself off from my surroundings by locking myself in Stella the Avenger (yes, that is my car's name), I will choose to walk, take the bus or El, and make adjustments so this is possible. It may mean staying a little closer to home for some groceries, and will for sure mean planning time in a better way so as to not be late for everything.

I think it will be good, though. I will find myself with some time in transit that I did not before, and I will be looking for a way to make that a time for connection with my spiritual life, and the life surrounding me. I look forward to encountering many new faces and experiences, and not refilling my gas tank for a month!

A Weekend's Worth of Book Reviews

This weekend I was determined to get in a lot of reading (by my standards, at least). I was pleasantly surprised that it actually happened in the midst of a lingering work project, a road trip (audio books are so helpful), and family craziness! Thank goodness for three-day weekends!

I woke up early (for a holiday) on Friday expressly to finish The Gargoyle (Andrew Davidson); I had scarcely been able to put it down for about a week, and fell asleep each night reading it. Jen over at Devourer of Books recommended it to me, and even went to the trouble of having a copy sent to me. She promptly scared me off by telling me not to read the opening chapter late at night, due to its fairly graphic nature. But when I finally started, I couldn't stop. As Jen described in her review, in reading this I became one of those people that slow down to gaze intently at the accident or oddity at the side of the road, completely enthralled at what I was seeing.

I was continually astounded that this is Davidson's first novel. Though the genre is not something I generally choose - historical fiction meets fantasy meets something-I'm-not-quite-sure-of-yet - the writing was so engaging that I forgot I wasn't really supposed to get into it. I was never quite sure where the story was going to end up, but was more than happy to ride out the journey. I would highly recommend this book to anyone that feels like getting lost in a fantastic story.

This weekend I also read my first book for the LOST Books Challenge: Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret. by Judy Blume. I can't quite believe that I have not read this before. Seriously. Reading it now was the great experience of fantastic Young Adult literature that reminds me of all the things that I worried so deeply about when I was 11-going-on-12. Though written more than three decades ago, its subject matter still rings true for pre-teen girls all over the world. What is it like to kiss a boy? When will I start to "grow"? Am I old enough to make adult decisions for myself yet?

Blume's timeless story of Margaret Simon is still a must-read for any young girl (or any mother of a young girl, or anyone who remembers being an 11-year-old-girl...).

Finally, during the driving portion of the weekend, I finished listening to the audiobook of Whose Body? by Dorothy L. Sayers. Downloaded from Librivox.org (great place!), this was my first Lord Peter Wimsey detective story, by an author I can't believe I just discovered. Sayers is amazing: she can write pointed, entertaining essays as well as completely engaging detective stories with strong characters and great matters of intrigue.

In this mystery, Lord Peter faces both an unidentified dead man found in a bathtub and a missing nobleman. At first the two do not appear to be connected... but things are seldom as they first appear. After the fun of this novel, I am looking forward to reading more Lord Peter Wimsey mysteries!

Joining Up

For a while now I have been looking at and considering several book challenges. When I stumbled across this one over at Amy's blog, I knew it was perfect for me. [I must be the first to admit that I missed much of season 4, and will spend a large amount of time this summer catching up.] Check out the contest rules to find the lists of books that are connected to the show, and think about joining up yourself!

The books I will read for the LOST challenge are:

• Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret (Judy Blume)
• Of Mice & Men (John Steinbeck)
• The Invention of Morel (Adolfo Bioy Casares)
• The Turn of the Screw (Henry James)
• Evil Under the Sun (Agatha Christie)

I will finish these all by the end of 2008... which really means hopefully most of them by the end of the summer, before classes start again. Wish me luck! Or, as Jen tells me, work is what reading is for sometimes. ;)