Thinking Waters

I went to the lake this afternoon, to think.

I stood on the barriers, wishing I had a hat and gloves, but fascinated by the sheets of ice that formed and broke like the tectonic plates of the earth. From a distance, you couldn't see the gentle motion of the waves beneath the surface; the snow patterns on the ice looked fixed and precise, like a never-ending garland, or a lace doily. But standing on the edge, I could see how the waves had broken the thinning ice into smaller pieces, which were now rimmed in snow, and slowly undulating in rhythmic waves together. The centers of these pieces were thin; I could see the water through them. But they did not break.

There was one large circle of ice, floating off by itself. It sat atop the surface, but was flooded by each wave washing over it. I kept expecting the next one, or the next one, or the next one to break it into pieces, or push it down from the surface. But the circle kept coming back up, in one piece.

On this Sunday, two weeks before Easter, I feel like that piece of ice. I only pray I am as resilient.

For the love of Christ controls us, because we have concluded this: that one has died for all, therefore all have died; and he died for all, that those who live might no longer live for themselves but for him who for their sake died and was raised.
From now on, therefore, we regard no one according to the flesh. Even though we once regarded Christ according to the flesh, we regard him thus no longer. Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come. All this is from God, who through Christ reconciled us to himself and gave us the ministry of reconciliation; that is, in Christ God was reconciling the world to himself, not counting their trespasses against them, and entrusting to us the message of reconciliation. Therefore, we are ambassadors for Christ, God making his appeal through us. We implore you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:14-21)

Sacred Silence: Practicing

I will continue to wait patiently for the Lord
He turns to me and hears my cry
He is lifting me out of the slimy pit
- out of the mud and mire
He is setting my feet on a rock
and is giving me a firm place to stand
He is putting a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to Him, my God
I have seen
and I fear
and I can do nothing but put my trust in the Lord.

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I have been reminded of something so vital to my Christian faith...the continuous action tense of God's faithfulness and mercy is the rule by which I want so much to live my life. Live by the "i-n-g", if you will. Friday's solitude retreat went a long way in helping me to reclaim this rule, with the gentle nudging of the Father to turn to the Psalms for the poetry of the seeking man's heart.

To say "I wait patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry" is very powerful language. To rejoice in the mercies and faithfulness God has shown in time of need is not a thing to overlook.

But to be able to say "I am waiting patiently for the Lord; He turns to me and hears my cry" -- for me, this is much more necessary. So often life on earth is consumed by deadlines and demands; by immediate need and the visceral reactions to it. But the presence of the Lord is continuous and dependable. He will continue to hear our cries as we continue to bring them to him. To know that the act of waiting patiently is not something that ends -- to know it, and to live fully in that knowledge -- now that's a challenge if I've ever heard one.

More than two years ago I decided that to "live by the i-n-g" was how God was calling me to live. I took it so seriously that I branded myself permanently with the Greek word for "abiding" in that very sense. It stares up at me from my left foot, any time I care to look down, to challenge me to see where I am founded and grounded -- where I am abiding, and how I am remembering the continuous action of salvation and grace by which the Father continues to lavish his love upon us.

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The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. (Lamentations 3:22-23)

Sacred Silence: Practice

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

longing to FEEL
to be held, embraced, contained
in the things that are right
that are good
that are true

this empty shell can hold no more
of its own creation
its own substitutions
its own delusions

the rushing flood in my mind
the burning sun on my face
the tearing fists of my soul

be replaced

by the gentle stream of grace
the cooling breeze of mercy
the healing embrace of Spirit

Sacred Silence: Preparation

Restore my soul, refresh my heart
Renew my life in every part
Reveal to me what sin remains
Then lead me to the cross again

Re-light the fire that burned so strong
Reminding me what You have done
My one request is to be changed
So lead me to the cross again

At the cross I'll find the way to live the life Your hand has made
So find me there, Lord, and help me stay in true surrender with You my Savior

***

The prospect of a day in sacred silence - the practice of solitude - is intimidating for a person such as I. As I prepare for this day to come, this simple song as my prayer, I desire only to find my way to the cross again.